a word. or a few and mcdoland's

Hello strangers.
Too long, no write.
Bleed Like Me by Garbage is playing. Good song. Look it up. John Mayer's next, I believe.
Lately has been. . . crazy. Drama, food, love, and other pieces of debris that make up the whirlwind of Annie.
This is a Winter Solstice/Christmas present for my man, who should never, ever, ever eat soy again.
Batman, this is for you:

Diet cherry pepsi and rum that’s spiced
Reminiscent of blue raspberry vodka and
Lysol but this time it was McDonald’s fries
And you tried to force them into my mouth
Like straws but they bent; flexible and salty.
Sucked on the salt you said but I remember
CALORIESCALORIESCALORIESCALORIES
Everywhere and you said it was ok and again
You whispered beautiful. But beautiful is a
Fucking lie and so is this hope, love, oneness,
Togetherness and good. Good is a lie, right?
Ran after deer in the moonlight in a cornfield
And I didn’t twist my ankle because even drunk
I’ve got immunity against accidentally hurting
Myself so that I can have more time to purposefully
Hurt myself. Oh you said it’s funny now and I
Just want to take care of you but what did you
Say when I was begging you to kill me with
Fries suspended in the middle of the orb of my
Mouth and tears floating like a blanket above
My eyes. Even now with rum and vodka not
Running through my system I can’t begin to
Tell you how sincerely honest I was about death.
“What’s one word you would use to describe
Yourself, JP?” Protecting, you said and broken,
I thought. Maybe strong, but mostly broken most
Of the time. And I was a toddler stomping out a
Temper tantrum Morse code message on your
Dashboard with my muddy flip flops but I’m
Not sure what I was trying to communicate.
Alcohol inhibited and uninhibited my brain.
Like your cigarette and deodorant smell
Uninhibited my eyes to you. And how will
This end?

I have this sense of knowing how this will end, almost like I skipped to the last chapter just to peek because the mystery and intrigue was too much to handle.lo The ending is good. It reeks of green beans, mixed tapes, rockband and most of all love. I like the way that sounds, how about you?

Sometimes life takes my breath away, wraps it in Christmas wrapping paper and a pretty bow and hands it back to me. Those times are amazing- and they are neverending when I'm near you.

L<3ve.