It's early morning. 1:20.
Hunger is gnawing at my stomach. Damn thing needs to stop.
Band of Horses is in my headphones, which are much too big- you know, the heavy-duty ones that look like they belong in a recording studio.
My mother made me promise that I would go to sleep before 5, because yesterday she woke up to go pee in the middle of the night and saw my light on. I can't tell you how extraordinarily creepy it is to be reading a book, totally lost in a magical world, when your mother creeps into your bedroom in her nightie and jolts you awake. I hope you never experience it, friends. It almost put me in my grave.
Today is Tuesday. Tuesday is a very insignificant day, unless you go to the Voice, which I've stopped going to. Seeing Curtis makes me sad- especially since I haven't talked to him since last week. Maybe he's mad. I got him a (I thought) cool leather journal thing with his name engraved in a little metal label and The Dark Knight. Rachel said it would be perfect, you know, since he's a writer. . .
"Hatred is a sharp knife held by the blade".
"Love is a thing that you can't define".
I wish I was a lightning bug. They actually gross me out. . . But they're beautiful, if you just look and don't try to touch. They kind of flicker and float- like faeries. I guess if I was a lightning bug I wouldn't be grossed out by myself. I guess I'd think I was beautiful.
I would come out when the sun went down, just because.
I would stare at the stars, too. . . maybe I'd think that they were what fueled my bright little behind. Maybe I'd come up with some kind of lighting bug theory, and become lightning bug famous.
I'm reading the Uglies/Pretties/Specials trilogy. I loved Uglies, got turned off at Pretties and am wading through Specials. The story is good, but seriously, can you make it any more drawn out? Maybe I'll change my opinion when I finish the last book. . .
You wanna know what really got me? I'm sure you do, and if you don't, too bad. This my blog, and I can talk about whatever my little self desires. =] So there.
Okay, really now- I hated the fact that he did that stupid little thing with "The Cutters". No.
For those of you that haven't read the books: There's this world out there where every one has to go through an operation which makes them beautiful, thus eliminating racism and all kinds of injustices by making everyone equal. This operation also makes people stupid. So this group of kids decide to try to cure themselves from the stupidness by what they call being "bubbly". This consists mainly of adrenaline (that's my opinion anyway) and one girl from this group sets about getting "bubbly" by cutting herself.
Now- seriously? This isn't a psychological thriller, it's science fiction. Keep it that way. Plus, thus far, the author has not said anything about this action not being a good thing- only that it works for becoming "bubbly". Yeah, I know it's a story, but I don't like the underlying moral so far.
Plus, it's insulting. It makes it seem that real life self-injurers do it for the kicks and attention (this group later become really important in government secret operations), which is a very misguided view.
My opinion: if someone's going to do stuff like self-injury, or any other kid of self-destructive behavior, even if they are doing it for "attention" there's something to pay attention to! There's obviously some disturbance going that needs to be dealt with, and the self-destructive behavior is the red flag that is to alert us to what's going on.
Thank you. I'll get off my soap box now.
As far as music is concerned, Noah Gundersen is freaking amazing. Look him up, listen to Middle of June.
I love you, stay strong, keep being the awesome individualistic free-thinkers you are.
PS: I bought new toe rings today. They say: love, peace, and luck on them. I don't like the luck one. Oh well.